Kind attention: My Laptop is no longer malicious

After a two year long battle with all possible anti-viruses, my laptop finally retired, allowing me to format her and get 'COM Surrogate failed to load' message finally packing again. But miss my damningly immune laptop though, the current surgery has made it a real pussy, whines everytime I boot(Miss your old self, baby!). Anyway, my lappy-top has served her sentence and any more insults thrown her way will bounce back with worser ones. Beware, We bite!!! Aarghhhh!!