Good balloons don't fall

Balloons - they look happy blown up, don't they?

A force pushing out - I wonder where from.

Fatigued and stretched till they lose shape -

Someone else's dreams pushed in too hard.

Good balloons don't come down, do they?

They rise and be pretty, smart and beyond reproach.

Rise till the clouds start constricting their pretty facade

Out of sight and unseen, they blow up beyond repair.

Tell

Come Stranger, 
Stop by if bored. 
I don’t tell much, 
Though good company.

Talk about the mighty thunderer, 
The pesky neighbour, 
Or the world as it should be. 

Let’s talk till we start to tell 
When It peeks - no more - 
Douse It in the weather and Tea, 
Munch and swallow - The tea heavy secrets. 

Promise me you won’t dig
 And I will give you the map 
To my heavy treasures. 
Beware, the darkest gold 
Is what the closest ones can never have. 

Or, I could give It in a riddle, 
I can sleep having given 
and you needn’t hide. 

Now that you have the cipher 
Swear you won’t crack It - 
This riddle. 
Me. 

The domino house

I look down at the black and white tiles -

An incomplete house of spotted ivory dominoes

Columns over columns - painstakingly stacked.

Squinting as I inch closer, I pick the next cold tile

Gingerly place it on top of the deck -

The black dots are blurred out of focus.

Breathing no longer involuntary,

I forget to exhale as the last piece stands

Between the deck and my pudgy fingers

I must back now and leave it to the elements

But my body rebels against the mind,

My fingers grip harder when it should let go

And sends shivers through my spine.

Will the house stand tall or crumble on the floor

Who cares? The wait scares me more than the fall.

Options

Outside -

The grass is green

And beasts roam free.

Inside -

Me and a hammer

A locked glass chamber.

Outside -

A sunny midday

Prey eating weaker prey

Inside -

Boringly safe

Oh, But Outside - 

The gears of conflict

Red and rusted was my old bicycle

a passed down gift when my sister got bigger

wanted till I got it and not much longer

Click, click it went every time I rode

Clicking away un-bothered on the road.

The first clicks were happily ignored

glorified even as the music of my freedom

Next day I rode, It got in my head, mine alone,

Click, click, click the gears got angrier, clicking, 

Biting at the rusted chains they were pulling.

"Oil the chains, tend to the gears" - Another time.

Click, clang, clang, click, click, clang

Clicking and Clanging I rode, This time not so alone

Heads turned irritated, as they noticed and judged

me, my rusted gears and my un-oiled chains.

CLANG. Covered in mud and dragging, the day

the conflict brought down me and my bike

as the gears bit too hard and the chains broke, 

I walked thinking of every conflict that

still hadn't reached the breaking point.

The curse of being sane

Moderation is great; but hard - was hard -

Now all I crave for is respite from sanity.

I long for an anger that sees no sense

for happiness that cares not if it is right

for a need that reasoning cant drown down

for something worth crying a river for,

for a cause I could lay down my life need be

for a love that oversees the biggest faults 

something to regret when I last close my eyes

for my heart to for once rule my mind.

The trek's over. Or is it???

This is a continuation of the previous post on the Kodachadri trek and if you didn't like that, you probably shouldn't read this either. 

So far:

Some context for those not in the loop - We started the trek as 15 people (Adventure Consultants United) and were forced to split into two groups - the Eager ones (a) the lost and found group - 8 people and the normal ones - 7 people. The normal group had only trekked half way through the rote tried and tested Kodachadri trek route when the Lost and Found group had finished trekking an undisturbed mountain in spite of the leeches, snakes and impossible terrain. The two groups had no significant contact (which is probably good considering how much bragging each had prepared for the other). 

Chapter 4: Hell's roller coaster

I was part of the lost and found group and we being satisfied with completing our unplanned trek decided to go easy and take a jeep to the intended peak. (For those of the other group pointing out that we didn't actually complete the trek, Can you feel us ignoring your supposedly clever quips? No? Try again! Ouch.. that must hurt!). While we waited for the Jeep, we witnessed something special - a bond between a not-so-special shoe and an exotic butterfly that followed the shoe to the end of the world. 

According to Piyush (owner of the shoe), there were angels and Reincarnations involved. This is how it all happened according to him. << This story has been blocked due to blatant copyright infringement reasons >>

Weird Romeo-Juliet

Finally after the impatient waiting through the unoriginal make believe attempts by the Kodachadri Valmiki (Piyush) we got a jeep to reach the Kodachadri Peak. We got into the Jeep, took a deep breath and decided to savor the smooth scenic ride ahead. Well atleast it was for a few kms until the Jeep made a harmless detour from the main road. The ride was the kind of stuff horror movies were made of - a road that didn't seem to end, a driver who didn't care to slow down and to top it all a girl gone crazy with fear crying and laughing simultaneously (Sandhyah, See I am not giving out names).

"the next thing he knew everything went black; he was pressed very hard from all directions; he could not breathe, there were iron bands tightening around his chest; his eyeballs were being forced back into his head; his ear-drums were being pushed deeper into his skull."

This is how J.K. Rowling explains Harry's first apparition experience. If muggles ever needed to prepare for such scenarios, the Kodachadri jeep ride would serve as a good simulator. Our heads were banging like coconuts on every beam that held the flimsy jeep together and the driver was flying/driving the jeep at angles that it wasn't designed for. 

Chapter 5: On finding and getting lost

After about two hours with Satan on the wheel, we reached the peak(or almost close to it). Jayadev unable to drown all the momentum he gathered during the ride couldn't stop his legs from running towards every single peak he could find. With one running around like a pendulum trying to find the lost lazy group, the rest of us decided to go visit the temple that Kodachadri was so famous for. We were disappointed when somebody pointed out to us that the temple was another hour's trek from the point that the Jeep dropped us at. Tired bones make great philosophies and so we philosophised (if that isn't a word already, I reckon it should be) that God was everywhere even in our hearts and all we needed to see a temple to look into ourselves. Thus convincing ourselves of human goodness, we spent the rest of the evening waiting for the others, clicking selfies/groupies and making up stories to make the other group feel bad. After all where god is, the devil lives too!

Conquering the Broadcom Peak (What the others won't tell you!)

In case you are having doubts as to whether this story is worth reading, this story (non-fictional characters, real places and almost real incidents) also has anecdotes about the magical connection between an exotic butterfly and a muddy shoe (rated by critics as the next best love story after Wall-e). 

For those of you who are genuinely interested and those who are too lazy to click 'back' in your browser, here it goes.

Long long ago, two days ago, there lived a team of 15 united engineers. They lived happily in spite of their grey cubicles, green waveforms and gingery evening tea. A visionary*1 had convinced them to explore the great mountains of Kodachadri where dog-sized cows lived among flying jeeps. They had for them planned a gorgeous weekend and a fulfilling trek. 

 *1 - Avinash

----- End of fancy fairy tale language -----

Chapter 1: Getting there (Warning: Uneventful)

Didn't I say uneventful in the chapter title, the logical thing to do would be jump to the next chapter. Still here you are.. so the summary is we just got on the bus reached Nittur and walked 2 kms to the place where we were supposed to stay. Also, The leader of the short cow community (yep, the leader of the dog-sized cows indigenous to this locality) came to invite us. Not to brag but I should say he was quite smitten by my charms.

Lessons learnt: 

1) The best strategy for the game 'Chain reaction' is to hold the corners. Courtesy: Pranay + Sudha + Sundeep

2) Never order Mushroom pepper dry at Swati Deluxe @ the Majestic Bus junction in Bangalore unless you are into rotten looking, absolutely unhealthy still yummy food.

Chapter 2: Hungry Dogs and Hovercraft Jeeps

On reaching 'NisargaDharma' - the place where we were to stay, we found company - two puppies joined later by two bigger dogs and even later by a greedy uncle dog (who was later proven to be a auntie dog - still greedy). The dogs looked so impossibly thin that I almost thought it was a different dog species. Pallavi being the candle-hearted one started melting at the sight of the adorable puppies with their wont-you-feed-me eyes and started throwing bread to them. That's when it hit me that generosity and chivalry don't go well with food - not among humans and not among dogs.

Finally we got our fancy elevated bamboo huts and we started getting ready. 

The plan was to start at 8 and when has a well-executed plan ever lead to a good story. We got ready by 9 (the bus was late by an hour too) and then realized that we had to wait for 45 minutes to get a Jeep (or two) which would get us to a waterfall 10 Kms away from which our real trek would start. So in the meanwhile we decided to drop by a hanging bridge around 2 kms from the homestay. I should say the bridge far exceeded any of our expectations. It was serenity at its best, non-polluted bluish green waters, a scenic hanging bridge and random small boats parked around the still disputed lake/reservoir/'River backwater' - (eh? My expression too!) looked like a scene stolen out of a famous five book. We had a competition of bouncing stones off the water surface and some were really good, some were okay and most like me were just lucky enough to get one or two stones to bounce once.

Having had enough of the lake (or the lake having had enough of our stone throwing) we left the place and walked backed to our homestay and found a Jeep and a jeep driver waiting for us. And we were wondering "Didn't we order for two of each?". Anyway we could only get the services of one, so we were forced by circumstances to split in two groups. The lazy ones wanting to sleep some more stayed back and the eager ones hopped on. This was the decision that each of us had to make and would haunt us for the rest of the trip. The Eager ones obviously are the protagonists/heroes/super heroes in this story and the lazy ones played the miscellaneous yet critical supporting roles. In case the reason my bias didnt come through clearly in the earlier sentences, I was part of the eager group. 

So, our jeep took off and raced through the uneven roads dusting the dusty roads and slushing the endless mud slush. At one point the jeep even drove through the underwater river roads (believe me, this isn't exaggerated) and getting past all that glorious nature, we can be hardly reproached for expecting to be dropped off at an awesome cascading waterfall (like ones in Soap advertisements). And we weren't mentally prepared for it when the driver asked us to get off at a place which looked like a highway tea stall. Seeing us confused the driver told us, the eager ones, that we were to wait while the other group arrived and we would start the trek together. One of the locals shared knowledge that waterfall was very close to where we are. Eager as we were and as hyped up as our expectations were, we couldn't stand the idea of waiting at the tea stall and decided to wait at the waterfall. 

Chapter 3: And then there were eight

We (the eight eager ones) went to the waterfall. It was a very small one. We tried to be happy about the view and stayed awhile there. But eagerness (euphemism for greed) soon got the best of us and we decided to find the actual waterfall and stay there. So we started climbing the hill in the lookout for the bigger waterfall that we signed up for. We would wait for the rest of teh group at the main water fall we convinced ourselves. We climbed what seemed like eternity (though it was only 2 Kms according to our all knowing Decider SRK). It was a half baked path and where we saw a clearing we put our feet and kept climbing on the insistence of Pranayraj Maharana, our chief navigator, He had the credentials of having climbed the Kodachadri peak already and we like true followers trusted our leader and climbed the impossible climb (More because the descent looked scarier). The fabulous grasslands are a 100 ft ahead he said and after a few more of such promises and seeing none of the promised grass we had lost hope. There were leeches crawling all around the place and when they weren't we assumed every bit of small dried stem was one and the more paranoid ones assumed bigger branches to be snakes. In spite of having had all the triggers for a rebellion, we like true democrats did a re-vote on the major decision - to go or not go ahead. The 'Not Go's won against the 'Go's  five to three. It was decided that the unconquered peak we had proceeded to climb shall be called the Broadcom Peak (that we got lost and climbed the wrong mountain is an allegation that we can neither confirm nor deny).

Though the descent was slippery as hell and climbing down seemed like a crazy idea once we decided to do it, we saw that it wasn't so bad. Yes, we were very much prone to fall but there were branches and thick roots every few feet and a fall wouldn't be disastrous. Hence falls scraped egos (atleast mine!) and far lesser skin. But like true warriors we stepped, crawled, slid, jumped and ran as we undid the one and a half hour sweaty climb. When we reached the bottom, we dug into our survival kit/food bag and devoured bread, tubs of butter, bananas and dates (instant energy they said!). After the tarzan climb and the nomadic meal, we were too pleased with life to be disappointed with the size of the waterfall. 

After an hour more of hanging around the falls, we decided to get out and get dry. SRK being named such couldn't help getting cocky and tripped on one of the slippery stones and cut his hand on a sharp stone. Blood came gushing out and the river turned a deep red. The sacrifice to the mountain gods for helping us conquer the Broadcom Peak was done.

The eager group shall hence forth be called "The Lost and Found Group". The other group shall be for lack of creativity be called "The Not lost Not found group".

Allegiance	Name	Trekking style	Optimism	Primary task	Leech Bites	Falls	Dangerous falls
Lost And Found group	Pranayraj	Expert	10	Navigator	4	2+?	0
	Sandeep	Cross Stepper	6	Decider	3	2+?	1
	Sandhya	Stick marcher	5	Photographer	1	2	0
	Saranya	Slider	4	Cautioner	0	5	0
	Piyush	Runner	9	Yes-Man (Chamcha)	?	?	0
	Gyana	Crawler	5	Pose-master	?	?	0
	Jayadev	Anchor	7	Path finder	?	?	0
	Akshay	Survivor	6	Moderator	?	?	0
Not lost not found group	Avinash	Normal	2	Trekker 1	0	?	0
	Jasmine	Normal	2	Trekker 2	0	?	0
	Pallavi	Normal	2	Trekker 3	0	?	0
	Garima	Normal	2	Trekker 4	0	?	0
	Sudha	Normal	2	Trekker 5	0	?	0
	Sundeep	Normal	2	Trekker 6	0	?	0
	Shiva	Normal	2	Trekker 7	0	?	0

Merry-go-round

I remember merry-go-rounds, the first time I saw one,

Bright red, on it was a screaming kid - having fun apparently,

At seven, it was all I could see in the park playground

I had the whole park to see and I hoped to - eventually.

I was too eager to join in the spin and pretty soon I did

It started rotating and I was impatient to scream

If only I could spin faster, faster than the other kid

The spin got quicker, almost like in a dream.

Laughing like an idiot, I saw the park starting to blur,

I was in Paradise and the last I wanted was to slow

I wanted to keep on but before long I wasn't so sure

The park got blurrier and my head got heavier

I screamed and I was screaming for the ride to stop

I held on harder the more I wanted to get off 

It wasn't fun any more but I was scared of the fall

I had the whole park to see and I was going nowhere

Everybody else on a picnic, me mindlessly spinning,

Screaming to deaf ears and the apathetic watching souls.

After a while, I succumbed to inertia and kept turning

All I remembered was the first time I saw a merry-go-round

and the screaming kid and wished I hadn't gotten on.

 

Be careful what you wish for (Consolidated)

CHAPTER 1
She always wanted to travel alone. But when she did..

Well the thing that I am late about (I should probably start organizing my thoughts before I start to write!!) is my long pending travelogue. The coolest thing I have ever been allowed to do (Yeah, you have to be ALLOWED!) is to travel alone to a far-away land. Though it would have been a lot more post-friendly if its was to Machu Picchu, Cairo or Baghdad, mine was exciting enough. It was to the United States of America, the U... ..SA.

I was supposed to be leaving India with my boss and travel back alone.
But with my mother's deepest prayers for a chaperone and all my bragging that I got to travel alone one way atleast, the universe conspired and aligned my travel date with another who was returning the same day. Thank you universe and your twisted logic too!

I wish I was born in the days of the nomads, when you didn't have to hold a VISA or a Passport to step into foreign land and could just go about as you please till you saved a young Prince and was honored by the King or accidentally trip up a caravan and be hanged. (Whatever) Well if had been born then, I need not have waited for three weeks to start my journey. But I was born in the uninteresting age of diplomacy and the UN, so wait I did. But the day did come!

I was at the Airport. It would have been my first getting out of the troposphere (that's the lowest portion of the earth's atmosphere for all you non-geeks), if I hadn't flown to Chennai for my VISA. Still it was my first international travel and I was excited, scared (Did I write that??? Scratch) and Cautious. I checked my Passport every 5 minutes. Actually I would check and after three minutes I would wonder If I checked the last time I was supposed to and check again. Oh and check again to make sure it was mine. Okay, I wasn't cautious I was paranoid.

Going back two hours (or 7 hours because my flight got slightly delayed by five hours), I was packing and there wasn't enough space in my suit case for the million shoes I wanted to carry, so I limited it to three. The damn things still wouldn't fit. In a moment of creative genius, I picked the highest heeled shoes out to wear and put the less space consuming ones inside. Clever me! (I can be so innovative, out-of-the-box thinker sometimes). If only I knew how much that one moment of wrong decision could turn bad...


Fast forwarding to the airport again, I reached filled out a few forms, went through a couple of gates. The Indian population's American dream and my high heeled shoes didn't make any of that easier. I stood for an hour in the most inhumane foot angle going through the million security checks. I didn't mind, I was traveling. Not just moving my mass from one town to another, not a couple of hundred miles... I was TRAVELING!

My travel was related to work. How I wished it would be more exciting!! Though was I prepared to get what I wished...

CHAPTER 2
What the hell happened just now?

I was to fly to San Francisco via Hong Kong with company through out (or as my dad liked to believe, supervision). So I boarded my flight to Hong Kong, there was no turning back. All those movies about hijacks, snakes on board came to memory and it wasn't helping. There should be more RomCom movies shooted on planes! I wasn't complaining. After all you can't be excited without being scared. For all my pretended fear, I got on my flight and slept! The flight started at 4:30 in the morning.

I slept at 4:30 slept for an hour or two (or so I thought) and woke up to a bright and sunny day at 12:00 AM. The magic that happens when you overtake earth's rotating speed or better yet move in the opposite direction. There may be no Abra-Cadabra but human machines are not that bad. Well after a bit of trying to listen to Beyonce (Surprisingly she's not that good when you are half sleepy!) I was fidgeting in my seat bored and found my neighbour in the same mood. So we started talking.

She was from Mongolia, a first year student in Bangalore and going home. That's when I said the most ignorant thing in the entire trip.
Me:"Mongolia? Cool. So China Huh?"
Her: "No Mongolia. China is different"
Me: "Isn't Mongolia to like the north of China?" (I at least got my Geography right!)
Her: Yes it is. But it is a seperate country. We actually speak Russian!
Me: Ooops.. My bad (Uncomfortable Silence)
She was a nice person and I learnt a good lot about Mongolia the Country.

Apart from that one moment, the flight was as comfortable as it could be. My sister spoke a lot about turbulence and I was half-hoping I could experience it. (But it is not a very good thing to want, so I gave up!). We finally reached Hong Kong (four hours later than expected and just in time for our next flight to SFO). Considering all the delay that happened in the earlier flight, I thought the next one could be delayed by half an hour. But that was not to be.

We practically, literally ran to our next flight. Remember when I said my innovating packing decision (the shoes) would haunt me, they did. After hours of queue-standing, security-checking and wandering in the Bangalore Airport, my feet were already sore. Now I had to run! Lets just say my running at that point was no very elegant or sufficient. So I reached last in my check in queue and was going through the security check. My manager (and another colleague who was travelling with us coincidentally) I guess had better shoes and were a couple of slots ahead in the queue. They saw me going through security and started boarding. I was gonna join them in a minute or so we all thought.

For all the paranoia I had about losing my passport, maybe I should have been a tad more careful about what I had in my luggage. I already explained the one packing mishap, now let me elaborate on the next. My first flight from Bangalore was scheduled to leave at 3 in the morning and Bangalore roads are not the safest at that time of the day. So in yet another un-me moment, I packed a Pepper spray in my bag. I was already feeling safer and before I go any further, Pepper sprays are legal for defensive use in India. Well back in the Airport, It was 2 in the afternoon and there was a big crowd and airport security around. I feel safe in a crowd in daylight and with uniforms around. So when I was going through the security line, the pepper spray was not on my mind. The nice man in the security asked if he could check my bag and I said "Sure. Go ahead!".

Soon the man starting speaking something in Chinese and I was getting impatient. My legs weren't feeling any better standing there. And then he showed me my pepper spray and asked
Him: "Ma'm, Is this yours?"
Me : "Yes..."
Him: "You know you can't carry it, right?"
Me  : "Oh sorry, I accidentally packed it. You can remove it!"
Him: "Ma'm, Pepper sprays are illegal in Hong Kong. Not just the airport"
Me : "Illegal like Drugs are illegal"
Him: "Yes"
Me :  mouthing "Ill...eee..ggg..alll"

This is from Wikepedia. No Kidding!

• Hong Kong: Forbidden for civilians and legal to possess and use by only the members of Disciplined Services when on duty.
  • Such devices are classified as "arms" under the "Laws of Hong Kong". Chap 238 Firearms and Ammunition Ordinance. Without a valid licence from the Hong Kong Police Force, it is a crime to possess and can result in a fine of $100,000 and to imprisonment for 14 years.^[22]
• India: Legal^[23] and does not require any licence
  • They are sold via government-approved companies after performing a background verification.^[24]

I was still lost and I was asked to step out of the line for a questioning. I was bracing myself when a woman at the counter explained to me that they had to wait for the cops to start the actual questioning and went ahead with a routine set of questions. Wait a minute you said "COPS?". Do cops in Hong Kong mean the same as they do in India?

Me     :
Other : What is the Purpose of your visit?
Me     :
Other : Ma'm, What is the Purpose of your visit?
Me     : Business. I am only flying via Hong Kong.
Other  : Are you travelling via CX872?
Me      : Yes.
....
....

The cops arrived. I think English literature is very prejudiced against Chinese/Russian Jails and American Federal agents. The Hong Kong cops were really polite though Firm in their questioning.
I was starting to think maybe I could get three meals and a book to read in Jail. After a lot of questioning, they told me they had to seize the object (the spray) and I was like "Please! Take the thing as far as you can from me!". I got a feeling that I wasn't going to Jail and I was right. They told me that visitors got one warning and so I would not be arrested this time. I would get a warrant and if this happened ever again on Hong Kong soil, I would be jailed. I was relieved and glad that I would be out of this country in the next hour and I was never coming back.

That was when they informed me my flight was leaving as we spoke. That cannot be, the entire process did not take ten minutes. Remember when we were running because the flight wouldn't wait, turns out it really couldn't wait. So there I was stuck in a country I didn't want to be in. When you have exhausted your last warning, you cannot but be paranoid.

CHAPTER 3:
There's simply no getting out of bad luck. Is there?

Like I said, I was stuck in Hong Kong. I did not know that Airline Carriers usually help out in these situations. I didn't think they did. Why would they? So when I saw two people from the Cabin crew of the cariier I was traveling with waiting for me, I was befuddled (Which by the way is only a fancy word for confused and it looks like I have used the adjective quite too often). There was an air hostess and a male flight attendant (I seriously do not know what the word for this profession is! Please reply in the comments section if you do.) and they seemed sympathetic. They told me that my flight had left and I had to take the next flight. When would that be I asked and got the usual "We have to check" answer. So they escorted me out of that security line to the waiting hall. The guy asked for my passport and my boarding pass and that's when it hit me. I hadn't collected my handbag from the counter.

Holy shit! Why was this happening to me? And a voice inside me said "You asked for exciting, didn't you?". So the guy ran back to the line while we waited and believe me, seeing a man in a suit carrying a handbag never made me feel happier than it did then. Well they checked liked they said they would and there was a flight that day. Good. It was twelve hours later. Not again! I was supposed to be in office the next morning and my earlier flight would have given me that plus a lot of hours to relax. I started calculating first in India time, then in Hong Kong time, then in SFO time and too perplexed to do math, I finally asked them when I would reach San Francisco. I would reach 8 hrs before I have to get ready for office.

My mind had never been more tried than it had been that day. A timeline of what went through my mind from the moment I got down at the airport
1) Run! Run! Run! You are not getting on..
2) Wait! You feet is killing you.
3) You'll live. Just keep Running. Slower people.. Slower!
4) Made it to the line. The line is slow. Faster People.. Faster!
6) I should learn Chinese someday. Naa.. Italian is better
7) Why is the guy with my bag gone this long. They don't steal wallets in airports. Do they?
8) Good. He is back! Stop speaking to your colleague and give me my bag
9) Oh! I carried a pepper spray. Can you be considered a terrorist for carrying pepper spray on board?
10) No fucking way! Pepper sprays cannot be illegal. This guy is an idiot
11) You are the idiot. It is illegal. What happens now?
12) The cops? Girl, Wake up it is serious.
13) Chinese Jails are horrible. No light. No space. You will die in jail and your parents will never know.
14) Maybe they will call up the embassy and check.
15) Really? That's what you want to think about right now.
16) Wait Hong Kong is not a part of China
17) The lady is talking to you. Reply!
18) Why am I not crying now? Am I really that brazen?
19) Maybe they would believe me if I cried.
20) They'll know you are faking it. They are cops!
21) God, I only don't want to be arrested.
22) Did you just think God? You are an atheist remember?
23) Okay I take that back. I simply don't want to be arrested.
24) Yay! This guy says you will only be getting a warrant because you are a visitor.
25) Bless Diplomacy and the person who wrote the Hong Kong constitution.
26) What my flight's gone? It has only been like 10 minutes.
27) I am stuck. I am not getting out of this country!
28) Can I buy a new ticket? Good, you have your credit card!
29) Why are the flight people here?
30) There is a air hostess and a what-do-i-call-him? Steward? Isn't that like a cook? He looks too good to be called a steward.
31) Going I am going to sit down.
32) They are going to book your next flight for you. Relax
33) My Passport? That's in my bag and my bag I don't have
34) The air hostess says wait. Am I still under supervision?
35) The Guy is going to get it. I hope he can find it. Maybe he wont?
36) a) Thats not the guy. The guy was wearing a grey suit
      b) Not that guy either. He looks too old
      c) Is that him? Looks like it. He has a blue hand bag and that is mine!! Ooofff. All is well
37) Why is the kid in the other seat crying so loudly?
38) My next flight is in 12 hours? Doesn't it take 12 hrs of travel? It is already 3 in the afternoon. I can't make it to office tomorrow.
39) You are so stupid. The time difference. Time difference between Hong-kong and SFO is...  is...
40) Don't calculate it like that.
41) When will I reach? Am I getting dumber? I thought I was good at math..
42) Well I will reach at 10 midnight. I will have enough time. I don't have to call my manager.
43) You still have to. He doesn't know you are stuck here. Call? He is aboard.
44) I have to call him. You have to call your parents.
45) Why doesn't the call go through? I thought it was an international SIM.
46) Well send everybody a mail. Nobody checks mail that often. A FB message?
47) Good atleast they know. All is well again.
48) Hey, maybe you can checkout the Hong Kong airport.
49) Why isn't the lady still leaving? I got the boarding pass for my next flight. You are under supervision!
50) No, she is not! She is waiting to get your baggage transferred.
51) Is that possible? I thought my flight left. Whatever! You are not being supervised.
52) She seems nice. She likes India though she has never been there. Why does everybody feel entitled to say that?
53) So Chinese letters are the Cantonese script. Chinese is way cooler. Learn that before Italian.
54) She want to say Hello in Indian. 'Indian'? Girl there are like a million 'Indian' languages.
55) You just called Mandarin Chinese. You are one to judge!
56) "Nai Ho", "Nei Ho",  Oh "Ni Ho". Mandarin is hard. Maybe Italian first.
57)  Macau is like Las Vegas? You have to be 18 to enter?
58) She likes Korean serial too. She likes Lee Min Ho. Jun Pyo was really good.
59) The Taj Mahal? The Taj Mahal is overrated. You can't say that to her! Tell her it is gorgeous
60) Uff,, They got the luggage shifted and I am hungry. So Ciao then Christina. Christina Liu? Lui Got it.

Well, I had twelve hours to spare in a unknown country, Nice stores to window shop and a company card to pay for all I can eat. Its not that bad after all. Bad luck? Or was it?

CHAPTER 4
Did I finally leave? Yes, I did!

Still at the airport and hungry, I went to the Food Court. I believe any place should be experienced through food. People who travel with me complain that I eat every stop I make during a tour. I am not a very nature person (The only reason I want to be eco-friendly is because I don't want the world with me in it to die) so I cannot enjoy the rainbow or the lush green mountains. The only way I make a connection with a place is by feeling something (water/wind/cold/heat) or by eating something. So I decided to make my connection with Hong Kong by eating some real Chinese food. I looked at the menu and went for the most Hong Kong - ish dish I could find.

The E-Fu noodle. The dish by itself was great it was some flat noodles cooked with chewy strips of some vegetable. Bland yet flavorful. I was starting to enjoy it and that was when it struck me, the chewy portion was just too chewy. I know no chewy vegetables. What was I eating? I almost went back to ask the lady who sold it to me, then wondered if I really wanted to know? I tried to keep eating but it felt like I was eating something I wouldn't if I knew what it was. I left the plate in the trash and moved to the other end of the Food Court. Later Google research showed that the chewy part was just mushrooms. Damn! I was still hungry and scared to eat, so I bought chocolates. Chocolates for lunch, how cool is that?

I wondered if I should get outside the airport for some Hong Kong air but decided against it. I lost my warning remember? What if somebody put another pepper spray in my bag, huh? So I just roamed about looking at people. Looking at people is a fun way to pass time(Albeit not in staring-ey stalker kind of way, that is just plain creepy). Making up back stories for each of them that lead up to the current hour making them characters in your one happy story is even better. (I am a happy-ending fanatic! People who give sad endings to good stories are cruel. Period.)

Weather in Hong Kong was bad they said (It looked good to me!) and we had to wait for for two more hours before we could get on. So I waited for another hour for the gate number to be displayed and another half hour waiting at the gate mentioned when I thought I heard something. It was in Chinese, so I waited for the English version to come up. Maybe my flight was getting delayed again. This is what the message said "Hey morons, wake up (or don't!)! We know you are waiting up at Gate 21 but that's not where you flight's gonna be. It is gonna be at gate 65 and we know you don't know where it is. So, Good luck finding it and getting out of this country. By the way you flight is not delayed any further and boarding will stop 20 minutes before scheduled departure." (In their defence, those were not the words they used). Okay the departure was in half hour and I had 10 minutes to find a gate I didn't know existed. So I did what any sane person would do, followed the nice people who ran in front of me. Before you judge, I knew they were on the same flight.

 Okay, the path from gate 21 to gate 65 was very straight forward. You had to go down two floors, take a train and climb up two floors. I had only seen three airports so far and had no idea that there would be a train in an airport, Good thing I followed the nice people! Well I was there in 12 minutes and I did not see a queue. What the 20 minute thing was serious? No that is true. Only that when they said the flight was not delayed any further and when they used the present tense to indicate the flight's presence in the airport, they were kidding. Gotcha! After all running around in my sore blistered feet, I had another 45 minutes to relax. All you airport people, I am trying to make a good memory of Hong Kong and none of this is helping.

When I finally got on the flight, I was relieved. I was going to a country where I had one warning left.

Be careful what you wish for (Final Part)

CHAPTER 4
Did I finally leave? Yes, I did!

Still at the airport and hungry, I went to the Food Court. I believe any place should be experienced through food. People who travel with me complain that I eat every stop I make during a tour. I am not a very nature person (The only reason I want to be eco-friendly is because I don't want the world with me in it to die) so I cannot enjoy the rainbow or the lush green mountains. The only way I make a connection with a place is by feeling something (water/wind/cold/heat) or by eating something. So I decided to make my connection with Hong Kong by eating some real Chinese food. I looked at the menu and went for the most Hong Kong - ish dish I could find.

The E-Fu noodle. The dish by itself was great it was some flat noodles cooked with chewy strips of some vegetable. Bland yet flavorful. I was starting to enjoy it and that was when it struck me, the chewy portion was just too chewy. I know no chewy vegetables. What was I eating? I almost went back to ask the lady who sold it to me, then wondered if I really wanted to know? I tried to keep eating but it felt like I was eating something I wouldn't if I knew what it was. I left the plate in the trash and moved to the other end of the Food Court. Later Google research showed that the chewy part was just mushrooms. Damn! I was still hungry and scared to eat, so I bought chocolates. Chocolates for lunch, how cool is that?

I wondered if I should get outside the airport for some Hong Kong air but decided against it. I lost my warning remember? What if somebody put another pepper spray in my bag, huh? So I just roamed about looking at people. Looking at people is a fun way to pass time(Albeit not in staring-ey stalker kind of way, that is just plain creepy). Making up back stories for each of them that lead up to the current hour making them characters in your one happy story is even better. (I am a happy-ending fanatic! People who give sad endings to good stories are cruel. Period.)

Weather in Hong Kong was bad they said (It looked good to me!) and we had to wait for for two more hours before we could get on. So I waited for another hour for the gate number to be displayed and another half hour waiting at the gate mentioned when I thought I heard something. It was in Chinese, so I waited for the English version to come up. Maybe my flight was getting delayed again. This is what the message said "Hey morons, wake up (or don't!)! We know you are waiting up at Gate 21 but that's not where you flight's gonna be. It is gonna be at gate 65 and we know you don't know where it is. So, Good luck finding it and getting out of this country. By the way you flight is not delayed any further and boarding will stop 20 minutes before scheduled departure." (In their defence, those were not the words they used). Okay the departure was in half hour and I had 10 minutes to find a gate I didn't know existed. So I did what any sane person would do, followed the nice people who ran in front of me. Before you judge, I knew they were on the same flight.

 Okay, the path from gate 21 to gate 65 was very straight forward. You had to go down two floors, take a train and climb up two floors. I had only seen three airports so far and had no idea that there would be a train in an airport, Good thing I followed the nice people! Well I was there in 12 minutes and I did not see a queue. What the 20 minute thing was serious? No that is true. Only that when they said the flight was not delayed any further and when they used the present tense to indicate the flight's presence in the airport, they were kidding. Gotcha! After all running around in my sore blistered feet, I had another 45 minutes to relax. All you airport people, I am trying to make a good memory of Hong Kong and none of this is helping.

When I finally got on the flight, I was relieved. I was going to a country where I had one warning left.

Be careful what you wish for (Part 3)

CHAPTER 3:
There's simply no getting out of bad luck. Is there?

Like I said, I was stuck in Hong Kong. I did not know that Airline Carriers usually help out in these situations. I didn't think they did. Why would they? So when I saw two people from the Cabin crew of the cariier I was traveling with waiting for me, I was befuddled (Which by the way is only a fancy word for confused and it looks like I have used the adjective quite too often). There was an air hostess and a male flight attendant (I seriously do not know what the word for this profession is! Please reply in the comments section if you do.) and they seemed sympathetic. They told me that my flight had left and I had to take the next flight. When would that be I asked and got the usual "We have to check" answer. So they escorted me out of that security line to the waiting hall. The guy asked for my passport and my boarding pass and that's when it hit me. I hadn't collected my handbag from the counter.

Holy shit! Why was this happening to me? And a voice inside me said "You asked for exciting, didn't you?". So the guy ran back to the line while we waited and believe me, seeing a man in a suit carrying a handbag never made me feel happier than it did then. Well they checked liked they said they would and there was a flight that day. Good. It was twelve hours later. Not again! I was supposed to be in office the next morning and my earlier flight would have given me that plus a lot of hours to relax. I started calculating first in India time, then in Hong Kong time, then in SFO time and too perplexed to do math, I finally asked them when I would reach San Francisco. I would reach 8 hrs before I have to get ready for office.

My mind had never been more tried than it had been that day. A timeline of what went through my mind from the moment I got down at the airport
1) Run! Run! Run! You are not getting on..
2) Wait! You feet is killing you.
3) You'll live. Just keep Running. Slower people.. Slower!
4) Made it to the line. The line is slow. Faster People.. Faster!
6) I should learn Chinese someday. Naa.. Italian is better
7) Why is the guy with my bag gone this long. They don't steal wallets in airports. Do they?
8) Good. He is back! Stop speaking to your colleague and give me my bag
9) Oh! I carried a pepper spray. Can you be considered a terrorist for carrying pepper spray on board?
10) No fucking way! Pepper sprays cannot be illegal. This guy is an idiot
11) You are the idiot. It is illegal. What happens now?
12) The cops? Girl, Wake up it is serious.
13) Chinese Jails are horrible. No light. No space. You will die in jail and your parents will never know.
14) Maybe they will call up the embassy and check.
15) Really? That's what you want to think about right now.
16) Wait Hong Kong is not a part of China
17) The lady is talking to you. Reply!
18) Why am I not crying now? Am I really that brazen?
19) Maybe they would believe me if I cried.
20) They'll know you are faking it. They are cops!
21) God, I only don't want to be arrested.
22) Did you just think God? You are an atheist remember?
23) Okay I take that back. I simply don't want to be arrested.
24) Yay! This guy says you will only be getting a warrant because you are a visitor.
25) Bless Diplomacy and the person who wrote the Hong Kong constitution.
26) What my flight's gone? It has only been like 10 minutes.
27) I am stuck. I am not getting out of this country!
28) Can I buy a new ticket? Good, you have your credit card!
29) Why are the flight people here?
30) There is a air hostess and a what-do-i-call-him? Steward? Isn't that like a cook? He looks too good to be called a steward.
31) Going I am going to sit down.
32) They are going to book your next flight for you. Relax
33) My Passport? That's in my bag and my bag I don't have
34) The air hostess says wait. Am I still under supervision?
35) The Guy is going to get it. I hope he can find it. Maybe he wont?
36) a) Thats not the guy. The guy was wearing a grey suit
      b) Not that guy either. He looks too old
      c) Is that him? Looks like it. He has a blue hand bag and that is mine!! Ooofff. All is well
37) Why is the kid in the other seat crying so loudly?
38) My next flight is in 12 hours? Doesn't it take 12 hrs of travel? It is already 3 in the afternoon. I can't make it to office tomorrow.
39) You are so stupid. The time difference. Time difference between Hong-kong and SFO is...  is...
40) Don't calculate it like that.
41) When will I reach? Am I getting dumber? I thought I was good at math..
42) Well I will reach at 10 midnight. I will have enough time. I don't have to call my manager.
43) You still have to. He doesn't know you are stuck here. Call? He is aboard.
44) I have to call him. You have to call your parents.
45) Why doesn't the call go through? I thought it was an international SIM.
46) Well send everybody a mail. Nobody checks mail that often. A FB message?
47) Good atleast they know. All is well again.
48) Hey, maybe you can checkout the Hong Kong airport.
49) Why isn't the lady still leaving? I got the boarding pass for my next flight. You are under supervision!
50) No, she is not! She is waiting to get your baggage transferred.
51) Is that possible? I thought my flight left. Whatever! You are not being supervised.
52) She seems nice. She likes India though she has never been there. Why does everybody feel entitled to say that?
53) So Chinese letters are the Cantonese script. Chinese is way cooler. Learn that before Italian.
54) She want to say Hello in Indian. 'Indian'? Girl there are like a million 'Indian' languages.
55) You just called Mandarin Chinese. You are one to judge!
56) "Nai Ho", "Nei Ho",  Oh "Ni Ho". Mandarin is hard. Maybe Italian first.
57)  Macau is like Las Vegas? You have to be 18 to enter?
58) She likes Korean serial too. She likes Lee Min Ho. Jun Pyo was really good.
59) The Taj Mahal? The Taj Mahal is overrated. You can't say that to her! Tell her it is gorgeous
60) Uff,, They got the luggage shifted and I am hungry. So Ciao then Christina. Christina Liu? Lui Got it.

Well, I had twelve hours to spare in a unknown country, Nice stores to window shop and a company card to pay for all I can eat. Its not that bad after all. Bad luck? Or was it?

Be careful what you wish for (Part 2)

CHAPTER 2
What the hell happened just now?

I was to fly to San Francisco via Hong Kong with company through out (or as my dad liked to believe, supervision). So I boarded my flight to Hong Kong, there was no turning back. All those movies about hijacks, snakes on board came to memory and it wasn't helping. There should be more RomCom movies shooted on planes! I wasn't complaining. After all you can't be excited without being scared. For all my pretended fear, I got on my flight and slept! The flight started at 4:30 in the morning.

I slept at 4:30 slept for an hour or two (or so I thought) and woke up to a bright and sunny day at 12:00 AM. The magic that happens when you overtake earth's rotating speed or better yet move in the opposite direction. There may be no Abra-Cadabra but human machines are not that bad. Well after a bit of trying to listen to Beyonce (Surprisingly she's not that good when you are half sleepy!) I was fidgeting in my seat bored and found my neighbour in the same mood. So we started talking.

She was from Mongolia, a first year student in Bangalore and going home. That's when I said the most ignorant thing in the entire trip.
Me:"Mongolia? Cool. So China Huh?"
Her: "No Mongolia. China is different"
Me: "Isn't Mongolia to like the north of China?" (I at least got my Geography right!)
Her: Yes it is. But it is a seperate country. We actually speak Russian!
Me: Ooops.. My bad (Uncomfortable Silence)
She was a nice person and I learnt a good lot about Mongolia the Country.

Apart from that one moment, the flight was as comfortable as it could be. My sister spoke a lot about turbulence and I was half-hoping I could experience it. (But it is not a very good thing to want, so I gave up!). We finally reached Hong Kong (four hours later than expected and just in time for our next flight to SFO). Considering all the delay that happened in the earlier flight, I thought the next one could be delayed by half an hour. But that was not to be.

We practically, literally ran to our next flight. Remember when I said my innovating packing decision (the shoes) would haunt me, they did. After hours of queue-standing, security-checking and wandering in the Bangalore Airport, my feet were already sore. Now I had to run! Lets just say my running at that point was no very elegant or sufficient. So I reached last in my check in queue and was going through the security check. My manager (and another colleague who was travelling with us coincidentally) I guess had better shoes and were a couple of slots ahead in the queue. They saw me going through security and started boarding. I was gonna join them in a minute or so we all thought.

For all the paranoia I had about losing my passport, maybe I should have been a tad more careful about what I had in my luggage. I already explained the one packing mishap, now let me elaborate on the next. My first flight from Bangalore was scheduled to leave at 3 in the morning and Bangalore roads are not the safest at that time of the day. So in yet another un-me moment, I packed a Pepper spray in my bag. I was already feeling safer and before I go any further, Pepper sprays are legal for defensive use in India. Well back in the Airport, It was 2 in the afternoon and there was a big crowd and airport security around. I feel safe in a crowd in daylight and with uniforms around. So when I was going through the security line, the pepper spray was not on my mind. The nice man in the security asked if he could check my bag and I said "Sure. Go ahead!".

Soon the man starting speaking something in Chinese and I was getting impatient. My legs weren't feeling any better standing there. And then he showed me my pepper spray and asked
Him: "Ma'm, Is this yours?"
Me : "Yes..."
Him: "You know you can't carry it, right?"
Me  : "Oh sorry, I accidentally packed it. You can remove it!"
Him: "Ma'm, Pepper sprays are illegal in Hong Kong. Not just the airport"
Me : "Illegal like Drugs are illegal"
Him: "Yes"
Me :  mouthing "Ill...eee..ggg..alll"

This is from Wikepedia. No Kidding!

• Hong Kong: Forbidden for civilians and legal to possess and use by only the members of Disciplined Services when on duty.
  • Such devices are classified as "arms" under the "Laws of Hong Kong". Chap 238 Firearms and Ammunition Ordinance. Without a valid licence from the Hong Kong Police Force, it is a crime to possess and can result in a fine of $100,000 and to imprisonment for 14 years.^[22]
• India: Legal^[23] and does not require any licence
  • They are sold via government-approved companies after performing a background verification.^[24]

I was still lost and I was asked to step out of the line for a questioning. I was bracing myself when a woman at the counter explained to me that they had to wait for the cops to start the actual questioning and went ahead with a routine set of questions. Wait a minute you said "COPS?". Do cops in Hong Kong mean the same as they do in India?

Me     :
Other : What is the Purpose of your visit?
Me     :
Other : Ma'm, What is the Purpose of your visit?
Me     : Business. I am only flying via Hong Kong.
Other  : Are you travelling via CX872?
Me      : Yes.
....
....

The cops arrived. I think English literature is very prejudiced against Chinese/Russian Jails and American Federal agents. The Hong Kong cops were really polite though Firm in their questioning.
I was starting to think maybe I could get three meals and a book to read in Jail. After a lot of questioning, they told me they had to seize the object (the spray) and I was like "Please! Take the thing as far as you can from me!". I got a feeling that I wasn't going to Jail and I was right. They told me that visitors got one warning and so I would not be arrested this time. I would get a warrant and if this happened ever again on Hong Kong soil, I would be jailed. I was relieved and glad that I would be out of this country in the next hour and I was never coming back.

That was when they informed me my flight was leaving as we spoke. That cannot be, the entire process did not take ten minutes. Remember when we were running because the flight wouldn't wait, turns out it really couldn't wait. So there I was stuck in a country I didn't want to be in. When you have exhausted your last warning, you cannot but be paranoid.

Be careful what you wish for!

I apologize for being late! Who am I kidding? Nobody cares!

CHAPTER 1
She always wanted to travel alone. But when she did..

Well the thing that I am late about (I should probably start organizing my thoughts before I start to write!!) is my long pending travelogue. The coolest thing I have ever been allowed to do (Yeah, you have to be ALLOWED!) is to travel alone to a far-away land. Though it would have been a lot more post-friendly if its was to Machu Picchu, Cairo or Baghdad, mine was exciting enough. It was to the United States of America, the U... ..SA.

I was supposed to be leaving India with my boss and travel back alone.
But with my mother's deepest prayers for a chaperone and all my bragging that I got to travel alone one way atleast, the universe conspired and aligned my travel date with another who was returning the same day. Thank you universe and your twisted logic too!

I wish I was born in the days of the nomads, when you didn't have to hold a VISA or a Passport to step into foreign land and could just go about as you please till you saved a young Prince and was honored by the King or accidentally trip up a caravan and be hanged. (Whatever) Well if had been born then, I need not have waited for three weeks to start my journey. But I was born in the uninteresting age of diplomacy and the UN, so wait I did. But the day did come!

I was at the Airport. It would have been my first getting out of the troposphere (that's the lowest portion of the earth's atmosphere for all you non-geeks), if I hadn't flown to Chennai for my VISA. Still it was my first international travel and I was excited, scared (Did I write that??? Scratch) and Cautious. I checked my Passport every 5 minutes. Actually I would check and after three minutes I would wonder If I checked the last time I was supposed to and check again. Oh and check again to make sure it was mine. Okay, I wasn't cautious I was paranoid.

Going back two hours (or 7 hours because my flight got slightly delayed by five hours), I was packing and there wasn't enough space in my suit case for the million shoes I wanted to carry, so I limited it to three. The damn things still wouldn't fit. In a moment of creative genius, I picked the highest heeled shoes out to wear and put the less space consuming ones inside. Clever me! (I can be so innovative, out-of-the-box thinker sometimes). If only I knew how much that one moment of wrong decision could turn bad...


Fast forwarding to the airport again, I reached filled out a few forms, went through a couple of gates. The Indian population's American dream and my high heeled shoes didn't make any of that easier. I stood for an hour in the most inhumane foot angle going through the million security checks. I didn't mind, I was traveling. Not just moving my mass from one town to another, not a couple of hundred miles... I was TRAVELING!

My travel was related to work. How I wished it would be more exciting!! Though was I prepared to get what I wished...

Till I...

Cold metal on the neck crushing
Every time I move an inch farther.
Believe me I will not rebel
If that's how you want me to stay
I will stay.
Stay only till I am strong enough
to crush the hard metal into dust.

May be if you starve me enough
I might even smile and pretend
Pretend like I care, like I know
You care.
Pretend till I can be starved
Care only till hunger hurts more.

If your love is something that depends,
Something that is plain leverage
The tasty bone on fetching the stick
I will fetch.
Play till I want to be loved all the same
Till I realize that prize is not worth the game.

Even if I am denied choice because
You think I will choose wrong
If I am caged because you care,
I will let you.
Let you make my choices till I can deny
Deny to be docile to be petted.

The final moments of 'till' are here
When its done, I shall not ask but take
Because it is not when you "let me"
but when I do because I want to
that I shall be truly free.

WLAN goes Trekking(2)

Contd.

Since I forgot to put one in the older post, here's a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I am taking nobody's side in writing this. Hell forbid, you still think I do and decide to take it out on me, You won't know what hit you when I am done with you! :P

Once on the Bus, we chatted, fought over seats and arranged our bags for a long long time. After all, the driver and the others were still in the initial squares. Some of the popular topics in our gang as I remember, Harish's Eternal Silence (Well, when he speaks it is like a mexican druglord who's lost the bass in his voice), Parveen's love for all things involving limb movement (Running, Climbing, Crawling, you name it, she likes it), Sandeep's Dedicaton (How else did you think, he became a bigshot?), Visakh's need to reject Popular opinion(And his word-play Jokes/Hoax) and Jasmine's endless dungeon's  (And ofcourse her in-time retorts to keep Visakh's Jokes in check). Who did I miss here? Well the only one of the trekplan-ditchers who actually had a valid reason to not come trekking .Surabhi was in a mission to make time-travel possible? Na... just plain old sick. Fun fact: There's one popular rumour that she was the one that she helped Google expand their database by more than half by just sharing one-tength of the things she knows she learnt over the summer. Apart form the usual gang there was Shruthi (the nice one! Or was she??) and Parag (the conductor of the group!)

By the time we we had exhausted all our topics, It was time to start the Bus. After a lot of cheesy-goodbyes and take-cares and See-yas, we got rid of Visakh+Jasmine combo, or they of us!!

Oh yeah, I had totally forgotten about this - My Reasonings. I originally wanted to call them Philosophies but you supposedly have to be famous to be called a Philosopher. (Btw, I call myself a Reasoner! Which I am totally cool to take on as my Nickname, if you suggest it , of course!) This has to recorded and since I do not to my despair have the skill of writing hieroglyphs on stone (How cool would I be if I did! Huh), I record this in Silicon as zeros and ones parallel to the actual story you anticipated to read when you clicked my link.

REASONING #1.0: `EXERCISE MAKES YOU STUPID`
Unlike what people talk about me, I am not lazy and I don't exercise on principle. I am a strong believer of the Darwin's theory of Evolution. Evolution tends to dilute the strengths that are not used and builds on those that are. I like to believe that the homo sapiens are going to evolve into an intellectual Superbeing socializing with contemporaries from galaxies all-over and not a lalala-yelling, vine-hanging, leaves-wearing moron. And accelerating this process needs a conscious effort from every individual. Can't strengthen the mind, I can understand. But why cant we try cutting down on all the exercise-stuff. This way we would make space in the brain to think of actual stuff instead of focussing on limb co-ordination.
Wow, that was long! Anyway, The take-away is that I really really believe physical exertion in any form is a very bad habit and will be injurious to us as a species in the long run.

Everybody has their weak moments and I... I.... I slipped.  I agreed to go on a trek! And like a chain-smoker who had given in to take a drag decides to smoke out every last bit of his last cigarette, I decided to live my trek to the fullest. I know this is not the first time I say this, nor will it be the last. You can't blame a person for trying. How rude are you!!

Parallel in the actual story, we were making small-talk while everybody started getting in the Mood. Hasta-la-Vista Baby! Slowly the beat of the songs played on the stereo were picking up and the Volume raised to levels beyond what the dial was designed for. I am a generally a pretty reserved person and every time I lose even a teeny bit of my reserve in Public in the spur of the moment, I end up agonizing over the next couple of weeks wondering how idiotic I looked. This disease along with the curse of Photography and the million social networking sites make sure that I never forget any of these moments. When we starting dancing (Me - swaying out of sync) and it started being fun, I blamed it on my alter-ego and planned to get away with the self-critic. Surprisingly, even my sub-conscious doesn't think alter-egos are convincing fake stories. Damn it!

I posthumously realized that when my conscious mind was making these fake stories for my sub-conscious mind, I should have been thinking about how all this so-called-dancing would affect my prospects of reaching the peak the next day! Enough with the spoilers though!!

As the Bus started getting crowded, we slid back to our respective seats and dropped into an almost immediate sleep state.

Disclaimer 2: This piece is going to be very long. Deal with it. I did not sign up for no short story fellas!

WLAN goes trekking

CHAPTER 1
People, Bags and the Plan that never took off.

When I decided to write a trek-a-logue, I had a few aspects to plan before I started writing. Should I be cheesy/realistic/sarcastic/whatever? Should it be short/detailed/come-what-may? Well, like a professional that I am, I got a rusted coin decide my log's fate. After a considerable number of tossing and nudging, the coin and I agreed. My style would be whatever and the length come-what-may.

The Night before:
'How many Engineers does it take to make 40 people board a bus on time?' - 'Forget it! Too many variables'

The original plan was to start form Campus @ 8:00, stop at some dhaba for dinner @ 9:00 PM, scream/yell/booze/dance/sing (whichever applicable) till midnight, catch some sleep, reach by 5:30. Freshen up, have light breakfast and start trekking at 8:00 AM. Funny seeing firsthand how the mind proposes and disposes of all helpful ideas in a matter of minutes, while the disgusting ones seem to linger like the bad aftertaste you just want to shake off.

And to make this Plan work, we had a million discussions.
Sample Discussion:
  "The Bus will start at 8:15 (PM)"
  "No, Let's make it 7:45. So when people actually turn up, it wouldn't be too late"
  ..
  "Everybody, Get your tents at 3:45 from Benares (Yeah, conference rooms are places of worship)"
  ...
  "Try walking 5 Km per day starting a week ahead of the trek to build up Stamina for the actual haul"


The actual itenary:
7:45 PM:  SQUARE 1: No one's gonna be there. Start after 10 minutes. Snooze!!
8:00 PM:  SQUARE 2: Forgot ATM card. Go back to SQUARE 1
8:05 PM:  SQUARE 3: Wait for Buddy to catch up
8:15 PM:  SQUARE 4: All cards and No cash, make Jill a poor lass. Go to ATM
8:20 PM:  SQUARE 5: Cash - Check! Bags - Check! Bragging - ???! Find Friends who cannot make it to the trip.
8:30 PM: SQUARE 6: Try spoiling the weekend for those who can't make it with fantasies about how awesome your trek was gonna be.
8:45 PM: SQUARE 7: Are you trying this for the third time? If yes, Give up and Grow up. Go to SQUARE 11! If no, Better luck next time, Move to SQUARE 8
8:46 PM: SQUARE 8: Forcefully hack Visakh's Matrimony profile. Gang up and give him a hard time. Find suitable boy/girl for everybody around. Someone's gotta get married
9:00 PM: SQUARE 9: Ramble about any place anybody's been to. Filter out photos of each and Rate
9:10 PM: SQUARE 10: Talk about X-Y-Z, Catch up with old friends. Go to SQUARE 7
9:15 PM: SQUARE 11: We should get going!
9:20 PM: SQUARE 12: We should really get going!
9:30 PM: SQUARE 13: We should really really get going!!!
9:35 PM: SQUARE 14: Reached BUS. No one inside? Go to step 14. Else, Climb up and pick random squares, till the bus takes off
9:40 PM: SQUARE 15: Well, how about a quick snack/drink.. Really quick 5 minutes
9:45 PM: SQUARE 16: Everyone decides where to 'snack'.
9:55 PM: SQUARE 17: Orders ready.. Start eating. Big plates.. Lots of food. Did we say Snack? Scratch it. This is Dinner.

 

The Ruler of them all

I stare,
sitting by the curtained window
into the newly painted walls -
the shade of 'Corsican Sky',
as my neighbor says,
I stare,
Hoping, I stare hard and for long
at the invisible building edges
The solid walls melt like wax
disappearing into the faraway sky
Drunk with the indomitable power
that only comes with day-dreaming,
I stare,
Shrinking into a horizontal slit
My eyes now but a sword's edge
I slice through the concrete
Slashing through like a fascist ninja
With just tiny jerks of my head.
I stare,
Conscious of the briefness,
The last few seconds I shall reign
The controller of the built and the existent
Now scared of the slightest whisper,
The rustle of breeze on the curtain,
that could rudely jerk me off my trance.
I now mortally stare,
As consciousness is forced
and I agonizingly transform
from being the ruler of the universe
to an unnoticed speck behind window bars.

A million and One

While happy moments are posthumously glorified
Grief shall not live past the moment,
Yesterday's snow cannot today make me shiver
But repent and guilt, my sir, I shall carry
Long after my tombstone turns green.
A hundred whip-lashes I shall take,
Numbing cold nights I shall gleefully endure
Ridicule and  Contempt, Give me more.
For I know, when the darkness moves
As long as I have no decisions to repent,
I, though painfully inadequate, can learn to smile.
If a million times gloom takes away my light
One and a million times shall I learn to hope
To smile.

Look on

If I have for a moment doubted if I wanted to stand
Against the giant punching bag of criticism
And Ignorant dogmatism of what befits good
Of Conservatives who I had pushed too far,
People, who under the same vision of an impending bag
Had once ducked down and climbed on.

If I have blinked as I did for a moment,
I have shamed the me I once dreamed to be.

The harder you rebel, the harder the blow
But how can a broken nose or a cracked up skull
Be worse than knowing for a fact,
That however hard you try to block it out,
That you have become what you once abhorred.

I, guilty of blinking where I should have looked on
I, guilty that I considered ducking a choice
I have shamed the me I once dreamed to be.

Still, I Look on.
Hoping that The Me I would be could
Forgive this momentary lapse
And be proud that though I didn't hit back
I Looked on and took the blow.