A million and One

While happy moments are posthumously glorified
Grief shall not live past the moment,
Yesterday's snow cannot today make me shiver
But repent and guilt, my sir, I shall carry
Long after my tombstone turns green.
A hundred whip-lashes I shall take,
Numbing cold nights I shall gleefully endure
Ridicule and  Contempt, Give me more.
For I know, when the darkness moves
As long as I have no decisions to repent,
I, though painfully inadequate, can learn to smile.
If a million times gloom takes away my light
One and a million times shall I learn to hope
To smile.

Look on

If I have for a moment doubted if I wanted to stand
Against the giant punching bag of criticism
And Ignorant dogmatism of what befits good
Of Conservatives who I had pushed too far,
People, who under the same vision of an impending bag
Had once ducked down and climbed on.

If I have blinked as I did for a moment,
I have shamed the me I once dreamed to be.

The harder you rebel, the harder the blow
But how can a broken nose or a cracked up skull
Be worse than knowing for a fact,
That however hard you try to block it out,
That you have become what you once abhorred.

I, guilty of blinking where I should have looked on
I, guilty that I considered ducking a choice
I have shamed the me I once dreamed to be.

Still, I Look on.
Hoping that The Me I would be could
Forgive this momentary lapse
And be proud that though I didn't hit back
I Looked on and took the blow.